LIFE WISDOMS
My Mom: An Inspirational Story for All Ages and Stages
Being Fully Open and Present Moment by Moment: Benefits and Challenges
It is vital to be connected with others by being fully present. My definition of “being present” is to own a mind and heart that is quiet, flexible and open, completely focused on the other person. I say to myself: Be HERE right now.
In doing this, I am able to hear and receive the thoughts and feelings of the other person on a different level, and it is a rare and magical gift to the interpersonal exchange. If I can suspend my judgments, ego and constant brain chattering, the gifts for emotional connections are unlimited!
Professionally: When I teach and perform, I have created my plan and structure, BUT if I keep to the agenda rigidly, I will miss my creative unexpected moments as well as spontaneous human reactions and connections. The unplanned moments can be exhilarating and exciting.
Family and Friends: I seem to do better at this aspect professionally than with family and friends. I wonder if I am giving my family and friends my full attention and presence as well? Am I as flexible and fully present? Am I as open and willing to shift, hear, transform and understand their views? Do I listen to those close to me with an open mind and heart, or am I defensive and emotionally charged? I believe that I have work to do in this area. When I am too caught up in my own agendas, and when I am feeling judgmental, emotionally off balance, and filled with a thousand projects and to-do lists, I wonder how much I miss emotionally in my interpersonal connections in this part of my life?
Intention: I want to be able to honor those close to me more fully, and encourage myself to be more fully present moment to moment with everyone I meet.
True Story: My music class had ended, and the children were lining up at the door to leave. One 5 year old child asked me if she could sing me a song. “It’s long, but I’ll try to make it shorter,” she said with intensity and sincerity.
I was exhausted. I really just wanted to pack up and go home. I didn’t want to hear a long song, but her determination swayed me to stand still, shift my mind and heart, and listen. I also felt wary and nervous—what is she going to sing? It’s not on my agenda. Will it be “okay” for the other children to hear? What if I don’t know it? Shouldn’t I know everything as a teacher?
In fact, I did not know the song, yet I received quite a gift personally. As I began to listen to the words and the heartfelt way Tanya delivered the teenage song, Firework, I began to feel transformed. Slowly I began to get “inside the words,” and found that they uplifted, inspired and transformed ME, and in that moment I felt as if the children taught me much more than I had taught them.
The song’s message reminded me that each of us has the light within us, and even if times are tough, there is joy around the corner, and possibility and hope around the next bend. Thank you sweet child. If I had said “maybe next time,” look what I would have missed by not being present and flexible! It was a precious moment, never to come again…and another life lesson for me.
Question for the reader: What are specific examples in your life in the benefits, joys and challenges by being fully present personally and professionally? Let’s inspire each other. I would love to hear from you, and publish your thoughts! –
–Cheryl Melody chermelody@aol.com www.cherylmelody.com
Teaching Love
I believe that every day is a day with opportunities for loving ourselves and each other, but Valentine’s Day puts a microscope on the intention to love just a little more than yesterday. This year I am approaching my work of joy a little differently than the last 30+ years. I am putting even more of who I am as a whole person into everything I do, sharing more of myself in order to raise children’s consciousness in knowing how to BE the essence of love. I am happy to say it’s working!
1. There is a 4 year old boy in one of my classes who used to sit under a table and misbehave during music. Now he is sitting with the rest of the children with full eye contact on me, a gentle smile, and last Wednesday as we began to sing our welcoming song of love, he asked: ”Cheryl Melody, are we SPREADING THE LOVE now?”
3. THE POWER OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION: I passed a cloth globe around the circle while teaching my “One Planet” song: “We’re all 1 people, all 1 nation, all 1 planet, together we can live.” Each time the children heard the number “1″ in the song, they passed the globe to the child next to them, while looking at their peer with kind eyes and a smile, using the power of nonverbal communication. When a child looked at the globe INSTEAD of the person next to them, I would have them repeat the exercise, honoring the nonverbal communication cues. The difference was powerful. The children noticed it, the teachers felt it, and I wound up thinking about how important it is for allof us to emanate LOVE by noticing each other with kind eyes and a gentle smile.
Success: A New Definition
Should success be defined in terms of salary and accumulated wealth only? If so, I have failed miserably. Yet if I ignore society’s definition, I am finding a new sense of peace around the word success. Here are a few examples of newly defined success in my own professional and personal life:
- As a mother whose children are grown, I can see that within their own different stages in life they still need me, and I try hard to listen, hear and guide when needed. The process of parenting is forever, and my version of success isn’t in doing this parenting role perfectly any longer. Now I have the wisdom of that impossibility. Parenting is in being present, gently encouraging and helping, all the while letting go in order for them to learn their own lessons in the school of life. I think that act of truly letting go while still being there for them requires the art of emotional balance, and when I have accomplished this balance in moments of my life, I have created sustainable success.
- I had finished teaching my music classes at a nursery school–packed up, ready to go. As I zipped up my roller bag, a loving teacher appeared in the room holding a screaming baby. She surprised me by asking: “Cheryl Melody, can you sing to him in your beautifully soothing voice and see if he will calm down? It’s his first day, and he won’t stop crying.” The request was SO deeply touching. I began to sing an original lullaby as I looked in the child’s sad eyes. Purposefully, I tried to send the healing vibrations of music into his little soul, and magically he stopped crying, and was calm, peaceful and transformed. In a precious moment, I felt the miraculous power of music within a priceless feeling of success.
- Some of my classes consist of special needs children. The special needs teacher warned me that she may need to take a particular child out of class if his behavior became overly disruptive. I thanked her for her sensitivity, and began to teach a musical activity to the group. Soon I scanned the room for a child that I thought was ready to be encouraged to be the leader of this song. Suddenly my eyes locked on this same special needs child, but he had shifted to a focused sparkle in his eyes and a delighted smirk. It was a positive and new behavior that I hadn’t seen previously. I asked him if he would like to lead the song. He nodded excitedly, stood right up and walked toward me. He led the song perfectly from start to finish and at the end, all the children yelled “BRAVO!”–AND he took a bow!I felt success for this child, and giddy delight from this amazingly successful teaching/learning moment.
YOUR IDEAS ON SUCCESS PUBLISHED IN NEXT POST… What is YOUR definition of success in your personal and/or professional life? I’d love to hear from you-were there moments in your life that were giddy, priceless, magical moments of success? I would love to publish your definition and life’s examples! Let’s inspire each other! Please feel free to share, and write me at chermelody@aol.com.
What I Learned from a 4 year old: Love is in the Details
I was in the middle of teaching music to preschoolers when Ben raised his hand and said: “Why aren’t you wearing the flower in your hair, Cheryl Melody?” There was something about his words that stopped my breath and held me from continuing the lesson. I felt my heart open, become the human being inside the teacher, and was moved to speechlessness. I quietly mumbled that I had left the plastic red flower in the car, and assured him that it would be in my hair next week. He seemed satisfied and I continued teaching, and yet Ben’s innocent sweet essence and request has echoed within me for days beyond that moment.
Today…Hum a little hum, like Winnie the Pooh says to do. It will energize you, relax you, and actually massage you from inside-out. Any tune will do, a familiar one or a made up one, but it is actually part of honoring your voice and that energy center, allowing your energy to rev up, exercise our vocal muscle and feel a sense of joy and wellness…all through Winnie the Pooh’s advise. Thanks Winnie! Cheryl Melody www.cherylmelody.com
From a Reader: Dear Cheryl, In spite of the heavy rain today, once again you have brought sunshine.
You seem to instinctively know just when to send the perfect message my way…and I suspect to many others as well. My work setting is in the midst of change, and as we know change can come as a gentle breeze or a strong wind…so change is not the issue, but how it’s presented/handled/ and received can make a huge difference.
Today’s message on CREATIVITY reminds me to affirm the gifts we have, not to lose sight of our strengths, and to always trust in ourselves. You say it so much better and I thank you. —–Barbara
ARCHIVED POSTS:
Here are archived “Wisdoms of the Heart.”
Subject: Creativity-A Unique Perspective: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs075/1102343288863/archive/1108095935603.html
Subject: Time Out for Adults: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs075/1102343288863/archive/1107649489984.html
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