Valentine’s Day and every day is our time for teaching children that it is important to be their own best friend, and to know on the deepest of levels that there is no standard “Barbie and Ken” way to look, to talk or to be.   The better we feel about ourselves in terms of self-acceptance, self-belief and self-love, the less we will bully others, no matter what our age.  In my children’s song, The No Bully Rap Song, one of the lines says: “The nicer you are to yourself, the less you’ll pick on somebody else.”  It’s true.  When we are dumping on ourselves in any way, the whole world looks crooked, and it is the same for children who are feeling low.  Kids with low self-images want to strike out, make themselves feel more powerful by bullying, teasing, gossiping and hurting someone emotionally and/or physically.  

 Valentine’s Day is also about reflecting back to children how precious they are for just being here in the world, being their unique person.  Maya Angelou asks:  “Do your eyes light up when your child enters the room?”  Do you think the children (and adults) around you feel that reflection coming towards them?  I will take that ideal a step further and encourage all of us to light up for anyone we value, and to give someone we don’t know a chance to light up our lives as well.  Being each other’s positive reflection goes a long way to mirror the beauty and uniqueness of each person.  Full attention listening and looking helps to build a positive self-esteem and image in others.  

 Choose to work on role modeling a healthy self-reflection, and choose to light up when someone else enters your life.  Encourage yourself and someone else to live the words of my “I’m an Amazing Person Today!” song:  ”Be your own best friend in the friendship song, shake your own hand and sing these words strong, look in your mirror, smile and say: “I’m an amazing person today!”

I heard this little poem in a You Tube video by Sharon Penchina, C.Ht. and Dr. Stuart Hoffman,  www.iamalovableme.com, and it says it all:

There’s no denying,
It’s plain to see,
I have to admit,
I AM a Lovable ME!

 Once you meet me,
I am sure you will find,
I am unique,
I am special,
I am one-of-a-kind!

Music can help get a child back on track before it is too late. It can revive self-esteem, self-belief, feelings of inclusion and worthiness.    I should know.  I was one of those children that was lost, and got back on track because of threshold moments in music.

 I wasn’t the best student in some subjects, and often I was not taught according to my particular learning styles.  Inwardly, I felt in a daze, numb, inadequate, and pretending to know more than I did.  But when the fourth grade music teacher came into my class to sing with us, something magical stirred, and I felt alive and part of something amazing. 

 In High School, I discovered the cello.  I was feeling directionless at the time.  I overheard the rumor that the orchestral conductor needed a cellist.  I shyly went up to him and volunteered to learn.  I did not even know what a cello sounded like or looked like, but I intuitively felt pushed towards this thing called “cello.”  A week later the music department provided me an instrument and a teacher, and in the first lesson I discovered an innate gift for playing this beautiful instrument!  My entire life changed for the better at 15 years old, at a time when it was on very shaky ground.  The cello took me on a wonderful path and was my “door opener.”  After music school, I discovered more creative gifts within me that have included a life time of singing, teaching, performing, recording, composing and writing.   

Music was my life saver, and gave me a sense of self-esteem, purpose, emotional and intellectual IQ, focus, concentration, inclusion, imagination, writing skills, social skills, dreams, passion, purpose, life!

 There are many children out there in similar situations…simply not thriving.  Children need people that believe in them, and tools that can unlock hidden potentials. 

 When I hear that music is being taken out of schools as an option to save money, it disturbs me enough to share my personal story with you in this issue. Please take a look at some of these videos to FEEL the power of music on children, and join me in doing everything you can to support music and the arts in schools, in libraries, and throughout the everyday pulse of living the symphony of life.      

                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
  Cheryl Melody
chermelody@aol.com